I have an amazing trainer friend who is younger than me asking advice on Facebook, and her question made me realize there are many people who don’t know my story. Her question was, “Can I have children and still be a professional trainer?”
I knew she could because I have done that myself. I had my first child before I was ever a professional anything because I was right out of high school and was blessed enough to be able to be a stay at home mom for her first 2 years of life because my husband had a good job. I did some horse training on the side but being a mom was my full time job then. However, after my divorce my life turned upside down.
Here I am a 21 yr old single mom who has never had a real job, didn’t have 2 penny’s to my name or a vehicle, because I traded all that to keep custody of my daughter. My only skill was training horses but that wasn’t paying the bills. So, I got a factory job putting carpet in boats. It was a hard job with long hours that made me stink so bad my grandmother kicked me out of the house. I remember getting out of the shower with my skin beat red from the fiberglass embedded in it. Luckily I had an amazing friend who let me move in with her. She happened to know someone who knew someone that was looking for a trainer for a higher cattle ranch. This was my first official horse training job. I made salary pay at $300 a week training horses 8 hours a day 6 days a week. I also was responsible for helping out with the cattle, goats, and garden. That was barely enough to survive off of, so I cut tobacco after work for $8 an hour. This is a time in my life where Ashlyn had a good babysitter that helped me juggle a crazy work schedule. But winter time rolled around hours got cut and I had to find a new way to survive.
I picked up 2 jobs one being a substitute teacher and the other working at a fast food restaurant. Once again making my horse training part time. I also had worked at a bottling factory, welding facility, and was an office manager during that time. I went to college for 2 years trying to peruse another dream because I had almost given up on becoming a full time trainer again.
I worked odd hours for a warehouse, which allowed me to almost be a full time trainer again. And then I got pregnant with my second daughter. I had to take time off from training during the pregnancy and the month recovery after her birth because it was a c-section. But I was right back to training as soon as I was well. Her father wasn’t into horses and was a really good father so I could get away to do what I love while still being a mom that loves her children.
Once again divorce turned my world upside down. Being a single mom is always hard and the divorce process is very taxing financially and emotionally. So when I saw an add for a rescue looking for a full time trainer, it was like the sun shining through the stormy clouds. I had worked with several rescue horses during my part time training time and even competed in a trainers challenge using rescue horses.
I was the perfect fit for the job and enjoyed 2 years working there. That job not only expanded my knowledge and experience in training but business as well. The best part my children came to work with me. I homeschooled my oldest so she got to be right there beside me, and we used the experience as part of her education. It was amazing. But the rescue started using practices I didn’t agree with and my ethics and beliefs made me make the hard decision to leave.
However, this opened the way for me to start my own business training full time. With the girls being older now and in school most of the time, the schedules are easy to juggle and I get to share my dream with my girls. The biggest struggles are pulling myself away from the horses to realize we need to do other things sometimes, finding the right facility to operate out of, and sometimes juggling finances. However, my children have never made being a horse trainer a challenge. They have given me more drive and more strength because I not only do this for me because it what I love, but I do this for them as well. I do this to show them that you can accomplish your dreams no matter what obstacles are thrown in your way. I do this to show them they should never give up or let anyone tell you “you can’t” including yourself. I do this to instill passion in them. This world is an amazing place to raise my children in and, I do not regret ever making the decision to have my children or becoming a horse trainer. But I will end this with my reply to her, words of encouragement and support, because we should all be lifting each other up.
“I had my daughter when I was 19 she is 14 now. I have been a single mom and a professional trainer the majority of her life. I did that with the help of my amazing family. Ashlyn only went to a day care a few months of her life. I had to hold a regular full time job and do my training on the side for some of that time in order to provide for my family. But my determination and perseverance and strength got me through the times I thought it wouldn’t happen. 5 years ago I had my second daughter. The blessing with her is she has an awesome father that wasn’t into horses. But both of my girls are horse crazy and work right beside me. Ladyn trains pony’s and Ashlyn puts miles on all the horses I have started. It’s an amazing world to raise your children in. They are so happy and they have been able to be apart of my whole life including my dreams. My point is with your drive there is nothing standing in your way to have all your dreams come true. Just have a good support team and be stubborn.“
